Money matters

Even though it’s only been two and a half months since my graduation, I still have had a strong desire to earn money. I cannot be sure what’s driving me to think so erratic. There are various reasons for feeling this way but it’s hard to recognise one particular reason for it. Before my graduation, the thought of earning money never even crossed my mind. I had friends who had already started freelancing while in college but at that time, I had different ideologies. I wanted to be carefree and be committed to learning, doing assignments and exploring. A week before my juries towards the end of June, I suddenly started feeling anxious about working and earning money. As if on the day of my graduation, my family was suddenly going to push all the responsibility on me. At night, when everyone else was fast asleep, I would go under my blanket with my phone to google, ‘How to earn money’, ‘How to freelance’, ‘How to become a content writer’. I had become a worrying insomniac. Mornings were no good either. I would cry too often due to feeling worthless. Not earning money made me feel ‘worthless’.

Thus, as soon as my final juries got over, I started applying to places for freelance content writing jobs. One day, I got a call from a lady who seemed pleasant to talk to. She went on to explain to me about the hospital she’s working for and how they needed more donations to run the non-profit organisation. She wanted me to do content creation work for them and a few other things. I was really excited upon hearing about the project and before I could ask anything about the pay, she confessed to me calmly, “Vaibhavi, there’s no money on the table, I am informing you beforehand.” It was a blow to my excitement, nevertheless, I accepted the proposal, again, thinking that I will at least gain experience. After a month or so, I convinced one of my other college friends to join me in this. Soon, after persistence, we both got another freelance job together. This time, the client promised to pay.

I was really happy and grateful that I have work but somehow the desire to earn money did not fade away. On the days I had work, I was focused, but on the days I was free, my empty mind would turn into a devil’s workshop. Knowing that others my age had the same concerns as me gave me some undesired validation. But when I learnt that others my age were getting paid for their work, I would again feel worthless, undervalued and unwanted. I was constantly comparing myself to others successes rather than appreciating my own. I was also basing my worth on whether I get paid or not. This unhealthy behaviour of mine was noticed by my parents. Here are some learnings that I have had while dealing with ‘money matters’. 

Talks with Papa

Papa keeps giving me his own example to motivate me. He is a man who has a strong self-belief, his motto being ‘Never say die’. It took three years after graduation for Papa to get a job of his liking. Before that he had to work in unsatisfactory places but he never failed to tell himself everyday that, “This is not for you, Anil. One day, you will reach the top.” Staying true to his words, he did reach his desired destination. 

Never say die. Papa

Papa has always taught me to do my work diligently, whether it is a paid job or not and whether I like it or not. Money will come, be patient, is what he keeps saying. Another way he asked me to look at this is to think that I am doing charity, thus contributing to society. Generally, when people earn, they like to donate a part of their income to charity. In my case, I am beginning my career by offering my services to a non-profit organisation, thus, in a way doing charity.

If I do this work properly, it is an investment that I am making. In the future, when I do get paid opportunities, I can proudly show them my work experience. At that time, I will have no regrets.

Each day he finds new ways to explain the same thing to me. Due to the corona-virus outbreak, many private companies are suffering a loss. As a result, they are cutting down on their staff in order to compensate for the loss. 

He asked me to imagine a few scenarios.

Scenario 1 Imagine you are a 35 year old man living alone in a rented apartment in Mumbai. You are in the marketing department of a well paying private company. You are the only earning member of your family who stays in a small town in Madhya Pradesh. Suddenly, you are removed from the company, the reason being the corona-virus outbreak. You are forced to give up your apartment and go back empty handed to live with your family who was entirely dependent on your earnings. 

Scenario 2 Imagine you are a 55 year old married man living with your wife and two kids in a rented apartment in Mumbai. You were in a corporate company and suddenly your pay is cut by 50%, the reason being the coronavirus outbreak. You are forced to leave your 3BHK apartment as you cannot afford the rent. You have to shift in a 1BHK, on the outskirts of Mumbai where the rates are cheaper. You can see your kids and wife unhappy, even though they don’t directly express this to you. You spend each day of your life feeling like a failure. 

These are just 2 scenarios out of the crores of Indians who have lost their jobs due to the pandemic. Compared to any of these people, I am certainly in a better place. I have work to do, whether it’s a paid job or not. I have nothing to lose at the moment.

Talks with Bhaskar

Once I was talking to Bhaskar (our faculty in college) about this same topic. He had a really interesting understanding about money. He said, firstly, the amount of money you wish to earn decides the approach to work. Secondly, money is necessary but when it becomes important, then it’s an issue. Then you do not get to choose the kind of work that you wish to do. However, we must also notice whether that need is genuine or manufactured. 

Money is necessary but when it becomes important, then it is an issue. Bhaskar

That conversation with him made me realise that my need is definitely manufactured. My parents are neither financially reliant on me nor will they accept the money even if I do earn. I should simply focus on working and gradually moving towards my goal since money is not the priority at the moment.

Reading about Zilu Harmalkar 

Currently, I am working on a pitch presentation for Dattaram Harmalkar who wants to set up a pottery startup company. During my research, I came across his father Zilu Harmalkar’s interview who is a pottery artisan, artist and owner of Kumbhar Pottery Studio in Goa. One of his statements really moved me. 

“I never had to promote my work, people were always attracted to it. I believe that if one has complete faith in their work and is ready to survive with a half filled stomach, success is bound to follow.” Zilu Harmalkar

Even though I have never met this man, I can sense his humbleness and dedication towards his work. Work is worship to him. If I ever get a chance, I would love to meet him and thank him for being so inspirational. 

Reading about Paresh Rawal

Paresh Rawal, a well-known Indian film actor recently became the Chairman of National School of Drama (NSD) situated in Delhi. I was reading his short interview published in Mumbai Mirror and loved his response to the question, ‘Do you wish this responsibility had come earlier?’

I believe everything comes at the right time. There’s no such thing as early or late. It’s a golden opportunity. Paresh Rawal

Indeed rightly stated. My mother also keeps telling me a similar sentence that her father used to say to her, “Samay se pehle aur kismat se jyada na kabhi kisi ko kuch mila hai na milega.” which means “You will neither get anything before the right time nor more than your fate.”

After receiving so much positivity and inspiration, I strongly believe that my real job is to work hard and believe in myself. Money does not decide my worth. Of course that does not mean that I don’t want to earn but I believe it will happen when it’s supposed to happen. I will give my best in whatever work I get. Most importantly, the quality of work should not depend on the amount of money I am getting paid for it. 

Vaibhavi 14.09.2020